


Unnoticed- First attempt/draft DO NOT READ

by Smoltinypumpkinchild



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: An altered aftermath of Blackout, And the events that follow, Canonical Character Death, I just needed someone to call out Usnavi's bullshit, Multi, UA, Universe Alteration, and it escalated, can we please start using this?, ive never seen the show, sorry it doens't rlly stick to canon, these nerds are hopeless and can't admit their love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8125279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smoltinypumpkinchild/pseuds/Smoltinypumpkinchild
Summary: Leaving this up In Memorium and so that i can still see the nice comments that y'all left on it buuut have completely rewritten and will be uploading the finished version as soon as its done! thank you for your patience





	1. Usnavi

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all check it out I'm not dead  
> I've been suffering with C R I P P L I N G writers block w/ my other fics (yup all 4 of them) so thought i'd try and boost myself with some Sonny/Pete cause there's not NEARLY enough content for those nerds and I love them. Hope you enjoy, and I'm hoping to get on with NTCGS at least pretty soon. Thanks for your patience. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usnavi comes home after the blackout to find Pete and Sonny at the ruined bodega in pretty bad shape,  
> Pete gives him a piece of his (my) mind.

ALERT ALERT DONT READ THIS  
im keeping this up for sentimental reasons hhhh and so i can still see the comments

but Please go read the updated version!!  
lots of pining and good stuff and vanessa bc i can only write from her pov apparently idk pls ill love u forever

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13223646

 

go go go

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the blackout, after the news from Abuela and the promise of a one-way ticket back home, Usnavi hardly had space in his head for anything else. He talked with Abuela for hours before the fate of the little bodega even entered his head- he was going to sell it, yes, of that he was certain, but those thoughts quickly followed through to visions of the shining sea around the island that had been his dream for as long as he could remember- the woman’s familiar stories suddenly lit anew at the prospect that he, Usnavi, would finally get to become a part of them. He had heard the shouting, yes, been almost caught up in the panic, but he and Abuela had been safe- the riots were distant to him, not a threat. There had been blackouts before, he remembered, and they hadn’t lasted long, and any looters had stuck to houses- that’s why he’d gone to Abuela. But they’d been safe, and it was without any trepidation that he made his way to work. But when he turned the corner next to the salon, his stomach fell through the road.

The street was a wreck. Windows and doors were smashed, the air was hung with smoke- evidence of fighting was _everywhere._

_Oh no._

The bodega.

The grate was up, showing the whole scene clearly, and the place had clearly been looted. Three windows were cracked, one smashed open and littering the concrete outside with shattered glass, and the door was swung wide on its hinges. Among the newspapers and plastic bags being nudged along the street, he could see a few bank notes- apparently dropped- and the ground was scorched in places and stained with something he didn’t want to think about in others. Even from this distance, he could see that the inside was a wreck- shelves torn down and bags ripped open; before anything, they’d taken food. That realisation made his stomach twist.

Gritting his teeth, he made his way gingerly inside and glanced around, noting the bust-open cash register and the water leaking from the fridge, careful to avoid touching the jagged edges of the doorframe.

_He should’ve been here._

Maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference, maybe it didn’t even matter now since he was leaving anyway, but he felt guilt settle horribly in the pit of his stomach- this was his _parents’_ store. It was all they’d left him with when they died, and he hadn’t even thought to defend it in the flurry to get to Abuela. But then, he could’ve been _killed,_ it would have been hopeless, oh, thank _god_ no-one had been here-

A scraping from the back room made him look up sharply. _Someone was still here?_ Who would be camping out in a ruined bodega, Who would be camping out in a ruined bodega in the middle of the day? Maybe some punk seeking shelter from the heat; it was still scorching. Cautiously, he made his way to the back of the shop, listening hard. Quiet shuffling could be heard through the door, just the shift of clothes on clothes as someone moved around, and another scrape- a chair, shoved sideways, maybe. It didn't sound like more than one person; maybe he could take them- or at least kick them out. He was almost at the door when he heard a voice.

“Lift your head a bit?”

Usnavi stopped short. He knew that voice. He felt anger flare up in him- Graffiti Pete? _He'd_ been one of the hooligans looting the store? He’d known that kid couldn't be trusted- what had he been thinking, letting a common vandal hang around the store- look what it had gotten him! Had Pete led the looters here? Had he-

Then another voice drifted through, and his mind went blank with shock.

“Ow! Man, that stings like-”

“Do you want that to get infected or not?”

There was no answer. Usnavi stood frozen by the door. Sonny? Sonny was here? His mind whirled into a panic- had he been here last night? Oh god- infected- was he hurt? The conversation in the other side of the wall was continuing.

“Stop scratching it, man you’re gonna make it worse.”

“I’m _not_ \- hey, ow!”

“Hold _still_.” He heard an exaggerated groan from Sonny, followed by another reproachful yelp of pain.

“Baby.”

“I am _not_.”

Usnavi moved closer, peering through the gap in the door to catch a glimpse of the scene inside. Sonny was sitting in a chair, facing the wall- shirtless, and covered in bruises. He looked _awful,_ and Usnavi felt his guilt triple as his eyes scanned the bloody marks on his cousin’s chest and face-as well as his anger: whoever had hurt Sonny, they were going to _pay._

Graffiti Pete was on one knee in front of him, soaking a strip of cloth in some sort of ointment. Usnavi looked him over as best he could. He was... treating Sonny’s injuries? It certainly looked like it- there were other strips tied around the kid’s left leg and forearm, and Pete’s shirt was torn until it was closer to a crop-top than anything- he must be ripping it up for bandages. The young man had his back to the door, so Usnavi couldn't see his face, but the care with which he was dabbing at a particularly nasty gash on Sonny's shoulder surprised him. He'd always seen Pete as trouble- a disrespectful, vandalising slacker that didn't care for much beside himself- but the current situation shone something of a new light on him. Mentally reassessing him- at least, to a point- he watched as he deftly looped the fabric under Sonny's arm, earning a wince when he smoothed it over with his thumb.

“Sorry.” Sonny snorted.

“For what, man? Ain’t nothin’ for you to be sorry about. Hey, where’d you get this shit, anyway?” He was holding up the bottle of ointment.

“Bought it down at Pero’s drugstore.” Pete said, shrugging.

“ _’Bought’?_ Shut up, man, we both know you ain’t got no money- and ain’t the drugstore been looted? I’d ‘ve thought that’d be the first to go.” A chuckle, and Pete was standing up, rubbing his leg.

“Well, when I say _bought…_ ” Catching sight of his face for the first time, Usnavi noted a black eye, bust lip, and what looked like a missing tooth. Whatever had happened, Pete had been in the thick of it too. Sonny scoffed, poking at him with his foot.

“A common criminal? This is what you’ve become, Pete?”

“Ah, shut up, man. Store was ransacked, no one’s gonna miss it.”

“S’pose.” Sonny got to his feet, taking the shirt that Pete handed him and pulling it over his head. “ _Ah-_ ” he hissed as he stretched his arms up, and Pete took a quick step towards him.

“Y’alright?” Even after Sonny nodded, he took the shirt gently and pulled it over his elbows, ignoring Sonny’s mutterings of “M’ _fine,_ I don’t need help, I’m not a baby- ” and wiped a spot of blood off his upper arm when it was on.

“No, you’re not a baby.” he told him. “What you _are_ is hurt, man- ain’t no shame in askin’ for help when you’re injured. Battle scars gotta start off as open wounds, y’know?” That earned a weak grin from Sonny.

“You’re weird, man.” Pete shrugged.

“Got you to smile, Son-shine. I’ll call that a success.”

Unable to stop himself any longer, Usnavi pushed open the door. The two boys looked up at the noise, surprised, and he noticed Pete move in front of his cousin protectively- before recognising him and retreating again- and the expressions on their faces weren’t welcoming. Sonny looked reproachful. Pete looked _angry._ Usnavi glanced from one to the other, taking in their matching cuts and bruises, and the rough-and-ready bandages striping Sonny’s arms, and found he was at a loss for words. For the fist time, he knew that Sonny had the upper ground- that _he_ was in the wrong. All he could do was try to start from the beginning.

“What… what happened?” he asked. Sonny half-laughed- but there was no mirth in the noise, it was dark and hurt. He’d never heard Sonny laugh like that before.

“The hell you think, cuz?” He gestured to himself, to his bloody shirt and cut-up face. “Store got looted, we tried to protect it, got beat up, got the fuck out, came back this morning. Nothin’ to it.” His cousin was looking at him dead on, a blooming bruise on his right cheekbone making the dead-eyed expression somehow lopsided. Usnavi felt almost _sick_ looking at him- Sonny was always so… he was so- he was just a _kid._ He shouldn’t be able to look like a war veteran. He redirected his gaze to Pete, who wasn’t looking at either of them. He was leaning against the wall, ripped up tank showing a shallow gash across his stomach, staring blankly at the floor. Usnavi knew he had to say something. He had to make up for this- for what he hadn't done, and he opened his mouth to do it, but felt the words die on his lips. The air was tight.

A beat.

“I’m gonna check out the grate.” Sonny muttered, and shouldered through the door without acknowledging him further.

Usnavi stared after him, heard the uneven footsteps and the bell at the front chime harshly, and then nothing. There were a few seconds of silence.

“The grate?”

“S’broken. Couldn’t get it down last night.”

Another pause.  Usnavi fought to find words.

This was his fault. That much was clear, at least- what he’d done, or rather- _hadn’t_ done, was one of the biggest mistakes he’d ever made; in the rush to get to Abuela, had the thought of the kid even crossed his mind? But, of course, Sonny- young, optimistic, idealistic Sonny- had rushed to protect his store- how could he not have known- _how_ had he abandoned him like that?

“I should have been there.” he said, quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah, you should have.” Usnavi looked up. Pete was glaring coldly at him, bloody bruises patchworking his face horribly. The simple truth of the matter stared them both in the face. _Pete_ had been there. Pete had been there, and Usnavi hadn’t. _Why?_

“I know. I- ” What could he say? He tried again. “You two shouldn’t… you were so brave to- ”

“We were fucking _lucky_ is what we were.” Pete cut him off harshly. His eyes were hard. _Lucky?_ Usnavi could only stare back at him in shock. Roughly, the young man wiped a stream of blood from his re-opened bottom lip and shook his head. His next words were broken.

“We were lucky none of ‘em had guns.”

 _That_ made Usnavi’s chest seize up.

_Guns. Oh god. They could’ve died. They could’ve died, Sonny could’ve-_

“I knew he’d come back here.” Pete continued. “Lookin’ for you- or to try and save this place. I tried to talk him out of it, told him it was too dangerous, but he wouldn’t leave- he was _sure_ you were gonna come find him. You even _think_ about that, man? _He thought you were coming_. An’ when you didn’t, he still wouldn’t go- he was out there, hangin’ off the grate with his hands all bust up and they were _shooting_ down block and you know what he said?” Pete had taken a few steps towards him now, voice rising to a shout. “He said _It’s all Usnavi’s got left!_ He stayed for _you,_ man- and where were you? Still out with your girl, were you, taking advantage of the dark?”

“I- I was- ”

“’Cause we were _so fuckin’ lucky_ that only two of those guys had knives. You hear me? Think about that for just _one damn second-_ we were _lucky_ those guys had knives- and it was _still_ a close call- we almost- he could’ve- _fuck._ ” Pete’s voice cracked and he broke off, biting down hard onto his knuckle, redirecting his gaze to the ground.

Usnavi stared at him. His mind felt inside-out, trying to reconcile the furious, broken man in front of him with the layabout delinquent he’d thought that he knew- and he only seemed angry over _Sonny._ No mention at _all_ of his own purpling eye or the messy red slash down the side of his chest- _Sonny_ was what he was angry about, and that just didn’t make _sense._ Sure, he knew they’d _talk_ when Pete hung around the barrio- they were closer in age than any of the other neighbours- and sometimes Sonny would help him sort through his paint cans, despite Usnavi’s protests, but _this? Why_ had he stayed- why had he come looking for Sonny in the first place? He’d always assumed that Pete saw Sonny as a bit of a nuisance, hanging around and getting in the way of his ‘work’, and yet here he was, positively _incensed_ over Usnavi’s absence when Sonny had needed him. Perhaps their relationship went further than the misguided admiration and grudging tolerance he’d interpreted it as- but _‘friends’_ didn’t seem to work in conjunction with _‘Graffiti Pete’_. Blame that on too many years of chasing the guy away from the side of his store and watching him retreat to the dump. He’d never once seen him with a _friend._

“Pete, I- ” he began, but the man held up a hand, and he snapped his mouth shut. He didn’t deserve a say in this, the gesture said- he hadn’t earned that right. He found himself reluctant to disagree.

Pete gritted his teeth, dug his nails into his palms, and took a deep, slow breath that made his whole body shake.

“He was so fuckin’ scared, man.” he whispered.

There were tears pricking his eyes.

“He was… he was _terrified,_ and I couldn’t- I couldn’t _do_ anything. I couldn’t tell him it was all gonna be ok- cause we both knew for fuckin’ sure that wasn’t true- all we had was a goddamn _baseball bat._ We knew we had no chance. But he still had to try- that’s _Sonny,_ right? He had to do the right thing, for _you,_ even when he was putting his life on the line, even when you didn’t show up- when you don’t _fucking deserve_ his loyalty- you know how much he looks up to you? He’s more a man than you’ll ever be. He stood out there, in the front of the store, with the door wide open and the grate up and three armed thugs running at him and he _told me to run._ I thought- ” -he choked down a sob- “- I thought he was gonna- ” -he _laughed-_ “- I was _so scared,_ man.”

He spoke the words as if he was frightened of them.

“I thought he was gonna die.”

The hollow note in his voice made something snap in Usnavi’s chest.

“You… you really care about him.” A watery, incredulous laugh slipped from Pete’s mouth and he gripped the sides of his own temple, shaking his head.

“ _Care_ about him? Man- you don’t- God, I’m fuckin- ” He cut himself off again, and cursed, before grabbing his bag and shoving his way out of the back door without a backward glance.

Usnavi watched him go, and didn’t follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this was way longer and sadder than I thought it was going to be...
> 
> I'd like to continue it, with chapters from different characters points of view (probably Vanessa, then Nina, then Benny, then Pete/Sonny, and then Usnavi again) and kinda know what's gonna happen. Whaddaya think? Tell me below?


	2. Vanessa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abuela is gone- and so is Sonny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooo boy so this is a lot sadder than I intended but I promise the final four will be much happier and cute and aww Pete/Sonny but this one had to happen first.
> 
> Alternate events- so no Carnival de Barrio here. Usnavi did tell everyone that he was leaving, though- we just don't have Sonny's rant and Navi's reassurances, and Sonny doesn't yet know that he'd have been getting a third of the money.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

Vanessa sat on Daniela’s couch with a drink in her hand and her mind completely numb. Nothing made sense. This couldn’t be happening. Everything felt surreal, like she would wake up any second and find herself back home with her usual, trivial worries- this _couldn’t_ be real.

Abuela was gone, and Usnavi was inconsolable.

They’d all tried to reach out to him, to help him, but he wouldn’t come down from the fire escape and he’d barely spoken a word since his eulogy in the street. He had been closer to Abuela than anyone- she’d been his only guardian, after all, when his parents had died, and the pair had had a bond from the beginning. They had always understood each other, been somehow apart from the rest of the neighbourhood- and as much as Vanessa had loved Abuela, she could never come close to that.

Usnavi needed time, they had decided. He needed to grieve, and they needed to let him. It hurt though: the hollow look in his eyes as he stared out over the city, as if all the lights spread out before him had been snuffed into darkness. He looked so _lost._

Dani and Carla had invited her over for company, and the three of them were sat in silence, still trying to make _sense_ of what had happened. Abuela had been old, yes, they’d all known that- but she had been so bright, so full of life. The idea of her motionless and cold in the ground was as incomprehensible as it was harrowing. Carla was tear-stained, and Dani was quieter than Vanessa had known she was capable of being- out of all of them, she’d said the least since it had happened.

Eventually, Vanessa’s phone rang. She picked it up- seeing Nina’s name on the screen.

“Nina?”

“Nessa, thank god- I need your help.” Nina’s voice was panicked, her words rushed, and Vanessa felt fear jolt through her.

“Of course- what is it?” she said quickly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine- it’s just- it’s Sonny, Nessa.”

 _Sonny?_ Her blood went cold. _Oh god, Sonny._ She had _forgotten_ about him. _How_ could she have forgotten about him? Sonny, who’d had no-one around but Abuela and Usnavi since he was six- an orphan in all but name- Sonny, who’d been in a panic over them leaving even before- she hadn’t even _seen_ him since the news. What had happened to him?

“Oh God, what’s happened?” she got to her feet, shifting Carla off her and ignoring the other two women’s stares. “Is he alright? Is he- ?”

“I don’t _know!_ ” Nina was close to hysteria. “I saw him in the street, all beat up- didn’t you see him earlier? He was running down the block and I couldn’t catch him- and we’ve looked _everywhere_ , we don’t know where he is, who he’s with- we’ve got to _find_ him, Nessa, what if he’s-”

“I’m on my way. Dani and Carla too, we’ll find him, I promise.”

“I’m just _scared,_ Nessa. We were all so busy with Usvani- we didn’t even _think_ of him. I mean… She was _his_ Abuela too.”

Vanessa bit her lip, nodded, then remembered Nina couldn’t see her and said “I know, I know- we’re on our way.” and hung up. Pocketing her phone, she turned to Dani and Carla, who were staring at her from the couch.

“Get up, girls, we need to go. Sonny’s gone missing.” Their eyes widened- Carla’s mouth falling open- and they quickly got to their feet. “I don’t think anyone’s seen him since the news.” Vanessa continued, pulling on her shoes. “We’ve got to find him as soon as possible. We meet with Nina at the dispatch and then split up, ok?” The girls nodded quickly. Fear was clearly written on their faces. They didn’t speak at all through the journey.

When they reached Nina, they found that Benny was with her, and almost as worried as she was. They really had looked everywhere- the bodega, Abuela’s apartment, the park, the dispatch, round the back of the salon, the school grounds- and they’d called his cell over sixty times, to no reply. All they could do was retrace those steps. Climbing up to the fire escape for the third time, Vanessa felt almost hopeless. There was _nowhere_ else he could be- unless he’d run right out of the neighbourhood and into streets none of them knew, and she didn’t even want to _think_ about that possibility. Leaning on the railing, she stared out over the houses, as if scanning the streets for a bobbing blue cap could help their search at all.

Sonny couldn’t just be _gone._ He _couldn’t._

She met Nina a few minutes later at the door to the shop, cell phone in hand, calling him yet again. The helpless look in her eyes told Vanessa that she knew exactly how much good it was going to do.

The pair of them sat on the steps, littered with broken glass from the riots, unspeaking. Once again, Vanessa could hardly believe that this was real. Sonny- missing. Maybe hurt, maybe even _worse-_ Sonny was as much a part of the bodega as Usnavi; the idea of him not being around didn’t bear thinking about.

Nina was close to tears, gritting her teeth together furiously, as if refusing to let the emotion get the best of her. Vanessa knew that she and Sonny were close- Nina had been his babysitter for years when he was younger, and he was almost a little brother to her in a lot of ways. His childhood crush that had followed him surprisingly far into his teen years had become much more admiration and trust than anything romantic in recent months- though whether Sonny was aware of that was hard to know. Either way, Nina was chewing through her lip, and only Benny’s arrival a little while later brought her out of her silent worry.

“I checked the dispatch again.” he said. “And the parking lot, and the drugstore. No one’s seen him.” Nina got to her feet, still holding back tears.

“I’m going to check the park.” she said, ignoring Benny’s _“Nina, wait- ”_ and hurrying down the street without another word. Benny let his hand drop and looked to Vanessa helplessly.

“Guessing you two didn’t have much luck either.” She shook her head. They stood in silence for a few seconds, before Vanessa voiced the thought that had been pressing on her mind for the best part of an hour.

“Someone should tell Usnavi.”

Sonny’s cousin was still up on the fire escape, lost in thought, completely unaware that the kid was missing. They hadn’t wanted to disturb him with more bad news- had hoped to find Sonny quickly and have him home safe before Usnavi even knew anything was wrong- but, the way things were going, that wasn’t going to be an option. Benny nodded slowly in agreement.

“You should do it, Nessa.” he said. “If anyone can tell him without this whole place going to shit, it’s you.” She didn’t reply, just returned his nod and smiled weakly when he squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll go find Nina. Someone needs to stop her before she starts rooting through trash cans.” He was trying to smile, but it wasn’t working.

He raised his hand in farewell as he headed off down the street in the direction Nina had gone, and Vanessa was left with the rather unappealing prospect of telling Usnavi the news.

It would be too much, she was sure of it. Losing Abuela had already taken enough of a toll on him; the possibility of losing Sonny, too, could break him. They were his only family, after all. Still- he deserved to know.

A sick trepidation in her gut, Vanessa made her way up the stairs at the back of the bodega, stepping over shattered glass and bits of broken shelf to get there, trying to think of how best to explain to Usnavi. There was no good way of saying it. His cousin was gone, and he might never be coming back.

When she reached the fire escape, she called out, hesitantly, to no reply. Taking a few steps further, she peered around the corner, and, unable to see the man’s crouching form at the railing, was seized with the sudden, horrible thought that he’d thrown himself off- but there he was. With his back to the wall, his legs swinging in the air over the edge of the metal grid, he stared out over the city. The sun was setting, staining the river blood red, like running paint. _Paint._ Something stirred in the back of her mind, but she pushed it back down. She _had_ to tell him.

“Usnavi?” she reached out and tapped him lightly on the shoulder, cautious of any sudden movements. He didn’t respond. “Usnavi?” she tried again. “It’s- It’s Sonny. Have you seen him anywhere? We… can’t find him.” The question was pointless, of course: Usnavi had been up on the fire escape since before the boy had gone missing- but it might help to ease the blow, she thought, to make it seem like something smaller. An _‘oh, I’m sure he’s around’_ as oppose to the hours of helpless searching that they had done. At her words, he flinched, meeting her gaze at last. No part of his face moved except his eyes, which widened indiscernibly but were immediately flooded with panic.

“He’s _missing?_ ” he croaked.

“Well- I mean, we don’t- ”

“Ay- _mierda!_ ” Usnavi spat, and scrambled to his feet, stumbling through the door without looking at her and frantically grabbing his phone. Vanessa followed, trying to calm him down, to explain, but he took no notice- he had to the phone to his ear- Sonny didn’t pick up, of course- and she pried it away from him as she heard it go to voicemail. His whole face was contorted with fear.

“Usnavi, listen to me- ” But he pulled away from her, panic making his movements clumsy. He was muttering hurriedly under his breath- snatches of words, as if his thoughts were scattered completely.

“I’ve gotta- Nessa, we have to- I shouldn’t have- _god,_ what if he’s- shouldn’t have left him alone- not _again-_ ”

“ _Again?_ What do you mean, _again?_ ”

“Where have you looked? He could be at the park- or the dispatch, sometimes he- ” He started to make for the door, but Vanessa took his arms firmly and pulled him back.

“ _Usnavi._ What do you mean- ‘ _again’?_ Has this happened before?” Usnavi shook his head, looking distractedly over her shoulder.

“No- he- he just- _ugh-_ I- ”

“ _Usnavi!_ ” At the look on her face, he closed his mouth. His eyes, too, and he shied away from her, running his hands through his hair. He took a breath.

“At the blackout. He was… he was by himself. At the bodega.”

Vanessa felt her mouth fall open.

“He was _what?_ ” Usnavi- ”

He had left him? The bodega had been trashed- looted- they’d all seen it, but she hadn’t even considered the possibility that anyone had been _there._ Usnavi had just- he had abandoned him? How could he have done that? How had he just _forgotten-_ But she winced at that thought. She, too, had forgotten Sonny. Usnavi was shaking his head desperately, eyes screwed shut.

“ _I know, I know-_ and I _hate_ myself for it- and he was all beat up and frightened and then he wouldn’t talk to me and- ”

“So he was already- he wasn’t talking to you? Oh _god,_ Usnavi, this could be- ”

“I know- I have to- ” He seemed to make a decision, suddenly, and pushed roughly past her to the door. “I’m gonna find him.” he muttered. “I’m gonna- I’ll check the park.”

Without looking back as he stumbled down the stairs, he pulled on a jacket- and grabbed Sonny’s from the hook on the wall, too- and pushed through the door. Vanessa grabbed at his shoulders, trying to get his attention- to _explain-_ but he was driven to distraction in his worry. Before he could stop him, he was sprinting down the street just as Nina had done, and she knew it was hopeless to follow.

She stood, leaning against the wall of the bodega and staring after his retreating back. Her mind was blank, empty. There seemed to be nothing more to be done. Going to the police seemed ridiculous even as she thought of it- who was going to help people like them? This beat-up little broken part of town was hardly the picture of respectable living- falling into ruin after the riots, no electricity and with graffiti plastering the walls- _wait. Paint._

Her head spinning, Vanessa gasped aloud, pulling out her phone, and began to run up the hill as fast as she could. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? She dialed Nina’s number and, when she didn’t pick up, left a frantic voicemail as she sprinted around the corner, eyes catching on the mural sprayed onto the brickwork.

There was one place they hadn’t checked.

Vanessa had only visited these crummy back streets a couple of times- when the trash collectors didn’t come and they had to get rid of their stuff themselves. The dump had low, crooked walls, and boasted a landscape made mostly from piles of rubble- dotted here and there with an old sofa or a busted car.

As she approached, slowing to a fast walk to try and catch her breath, uneasiness crept over her for the first time. She didn’t really _know_ Pete, she realised. Sure, he hung around the bodega and vandalised their walls from time to time, but she didn’t actually think they’d ever spoken to each other. Still, Pete knew the streets, and if anyone had seen Sonny- or if anyone could _find_ him- it would be him.

She rounded another corner and found herself by the low back wall- the gap in the bricks that gave them entrance was on the other side. A sound caught her attention, and she stopped short to listen. Someone was definitely painting; the hiss of a spray can cut cleanly through the air, and she frowned, trying to peer over the wall. It was odd- she wouldn’t have expected Graffiti Pete to splash his message across what had generally become regarded as his own home- no one knew where he actually lived, or if he had a home at all. Climbing the few pseudo-steps that the uneven bricks formed, she hoisted herself half over it, looking down at the opposite side.

Instantly, she was flooded with a mixture of great relief and renewed worry- Sonny was down there, can in each hand, painting something huge and misshapen on the vast stretch of brick. There was an awful lot of red in it. Graffiti Pete was sitting propped against a pile of rubble, tossing an empty soda can up and catching it again at a steady pace, getting higher and higher each time. He was letting his head loll back, staring up at the sky with low-lidded eyes. Both of them were sporting horribly obvious cuts and bruises. Had Pete been with Sonny in the blackout? More to the point- why would he have been? She’d have thought he’d take the opportunity to plaster their walls in the panic- no one would have taken any notice of the artist among the riots- but then, Sonny had come _here,_ to _him,_ in his grief. That had to say something.

Vanessa continued to watch, worried, as Sonny took a couple of steps back and looked up at his work. It was all jagged, outward slashes with a festering crimson centre- smeared with black and purple, twisting like something alive. Across it flew lancing white spears, poking at the edges and spreading out across the space. He stood motionless for a moment, and then grabbed another spray can from a small pile at his feet, letting the first two clatter to the ground. This one was a harsh, sickly yellow- he painted long, bleeding tracks with it, running up and down the wall and smothering the picture. As she watched, the swiping motions he was making grew shorter, sharper, and more urgent- swift, overlapping strokes growing closer and closer together. Slashing violently, he let out a yell with every mark and stepped closer to the wall until his nose was almost pressed against it, one hand up against the bricks and the other holding the can an inch away, keeping the nozzle down firmly, letting the stream of ochre run down and pool at his feet. With a grunt that was almost a sob, he slammed the can into the brickwork, and then did it again, and again, and then the can slipped from his grasp and he carried on hitting, smashing his fists into the wall and starting to sob outright- and then- before she had even seen him move- Pete was holding him.

He had leapt to his feet in an instant and gripped him tightly from behind, trapping his arms by his sides and pulling him away- and Sonny was still grunting and struggling, but Pete was strong, and, even when the kid managed to twist around and pound against his chest, he held onto him tightly. Still half over the wall, Vanessa watched the fight drain out of Sonny’s body as his punches gradually slowed to weak swats, saw him collapse against Pete with a broken sob and bury his face into his chest, curling into him as they both sank to their knees.

She could only stare. Pete was running his fingers gently through Sonny’s curls, rocking gently back and forth and rubbing his back- and for some reason, the most prominent thought in her mind was that _he’d done this before._  His arms were placed too comfortably, his fingers moving too easily _,_ for this to have been something new. His body had slipped into place like a puzzle piece- like he was used to having Sonny curled into him like that- and she had to take a second to wrap her head around that thought.

Again- she was reminded that she didn’t really know Pete, not well- none of them did. He was Graffiti Pete, neighbourhood vandal, a little gruff, a bit of a nuisance, a warning to other kids if their grades weren’t up to scratch in school. He was part of the barrio, yes, but it struck her quite suddenly that she’d never held a real conversation with him- never bothered to ask after him- he was little more than a part of the scenery that formed their home. Like the fire escapes. Like the rattling train. Like his own sprawling graffiti, splashed across their walls. And here he was, whispering something into Sonny De la Vega’s hair as he shook and sobbed against his chest, one hand making patient circles between his shoulder-blades and the other combing through his tousled curls- and Sonny’s breath was steadying. His tears were drying. He sighed and curled further against the man, and the fond, involuntary smile that slid onto Pete’s face looked as natural as anything she’d seen. Yes. He was no stranger to this.

After a few seconds, Sonny pulled back, and Pete held him at arm’s length, hunching down so their eyes were level. They were still on their knees. He was saying something, quietly, and Sonny was nodding, reaching up an arm to wipe away his tears- Pete used a broad thumb to catch the rest of them. Sonny muttered something- she thought she caught the words _“leaving”_ and _“don’t matter” -_ and then Pete was pulling him up to his feet again and crushing him against his chest. As he shook his head, murmuring something she couldn’t hear, she caught sight of his face- and saw that he was crying, too.

Feeling that she was intruding on something that should really have been private, Vanessa climbed down cautiously from her perch on the wall- trying not to make any sound. After a moment's thought, she made her way down the street, and she pulled out her phone and called Nina again, the panic that had gripped her all afternoon beginning to recede. Sonny was alright. Well, perhaps not _completely,_ but he was safe, and he had Pete. Pete… that still sat oddly in her head. Pete, cradling Sonny and whispering reassurances to him- the one Sonny had gone to at his lowest point- and he had been _crying_ as he held him…

She was jolted from her thoughts when Nina picked up the phone.

“Vanessa? What is it? Are you- ”

“I’m fine, I’m fine- I... I found him, Nina.” she said quickly, and heard the sharp intake of breath over the receiver.

“Oh thank _God!_ Can I speak to him? Is he- ” Vanessa winced a little.

“He’s- uh- he’s not with me. But he’s safe- he just needs some time alone.” There were a few seconds of silence before Nina replied.

“Alright…" she murmured. She still sounded concerned, however. "If you’re sure he’s okay?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Right. Great. Well- are you on your way? Carla found Navi running round the park and we’re all back at his apartment with him- you can calm him down, if anyone can.”

“I’m just coming.” she assured her. “I’ll be there in five.”

When she reached the little flat, the man himself met him at the door. He grabbed her arm urgently, the movement contrasting with the blank vacancy of his eyes.

“Where is he?” His voice was hoarse and desperate. Vanessa smiled at him as reassuringly as she could, and directed him back inside, to where the others were waiting. Nina and Benny had both leapt to their feet upon her arrival, while Dani and Carla were already standing, and all fixed wide, worried eyes on her as she gently pushed Usnavi into a chair.

“He’s fine.” she told them. “Well- no worse than after the blackout- but- ”

“The blackout?” Nina stepped forward sharply, her eyes widening further. “What happened- what do you mean?” Vanessa hesitated, looking quickly at Usnavi- would he be comfortable with her telling them? He grimaced, and nodded, so she continued.

“He… He was at the bodega, last night.” she said. “He got into a fight trying to protect the store from looters- he’s got some nasty bruises, but otherwise alright. I think… I think Pete was with him?” She glanced to Usnavi again for confirmation and, again, he nodded. It was Benny’s turn to look up at her in shock.

“Graffiti Pete?” he asked, incredulously. “Really? Not that I- I mean- why would he…?” He trailed off. Vanessa could only shrug.

“I don’t know. That’s where Sonny went today, though, so he must trust him.”

“He was with Pete all day _?_ ” Benny looked still more astonished.

“Yes- down at the dump. He was painting. I- uh- I didn’t talk to him, or… He looked like he needed some time.” This last comment was directed mostly to Usnavi. Numbly, the man nodded. His shoulders sagged and he slumped forward over the counter with his head in his hands.

Vanessa herself was starting to feel a little giddy- the reality of it catching up with her at last. Sonny was safe _._ He was going to be ok _._

It was getting truly dark, and they were on the brink of starting to worry again, when the front door swung open and Sonny shuffled in with his hat down low. In an instant, Nina had leaped to her feet, Benny had yelled out, and Usnavi was upon him, throwing his arms around his cousin wordlessly and choking out a sob. Sonny froze in shock, wide-eyed, and stared at the faces surrounding him.

“G- Guys- you- ”

“We were worried sick!” Nina cried. “You could have been lost, or shot, or- ”

“We’ve been looking all day, man! You weren’t at the park, or the dispatch, or the drugstore- it was like you vanished! You can’t just up and _leave_ like that, you scared us to death!” Benny was striding over too, looking as though he wanted to throw his arms around both Sonny and Usnavi, but had thought better of it. Dani and Carla’s voices blended into and over each other- a mixture of scolding and _“thank goodness you’re alright!”s_ \- and Sonny looked completely bewildered.

“You guys… I’m ok- really. I just needed some time, you know?”

They all fought for words. Vanessa had asked them not to mention the fact that they knew where he’d been- she felt he might be embarrassed by what she’d seen at the dump, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. None of them were bringing it up, therefore, but that certainly didn’t mean they had nothing to say.

“How could you expect us not to worry? You just _left-_!”

“I was still in the neighbourhood- ”

“Pretty good hiding, if you ask me- you could have been- ”

“You weren’t answering your phone- !”

“It was dead _-_ ”

“We couldn’t find you anywhere- !”

“I didn’t think you’d care!” Sonny shouted suddenly, breaking away from Usnavi.

They all stared.

“I… I didn’t think you’d notice, ok? You were all… with Usnavi, and… I just… I didn’t think it’d matter to you.”

A beat.

“Not _matter_ to us?” Nina half-whispered, sounding horror-struck. “Sonny…” Apparently unable to find the words, she took a few tentative steps forward, holding out her arms. Sonny seemed to hesitate- but then all but ran the foot towards her and threw his arms around her neck, screwing his eyes shut. Nina hugged him back, fiercely, and Benny wrapped his arms around the pair of them. Vanessa, Carla, and Daniela went and joined the hug too, though Usnavi stayed by the door where Sonny had left him. They stayed like that for as long as they dared, all five of them trying to communicate to the boy without words just how _much_ he meant to them- how worried they’d been, how they were here for him, how much they loved him. It couldn’t have worked- the feelings were too much, but they could hope that at least some of the message got through.

When Sonny broke away, he managed a weak smile, and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry, guys, I… I shouldn’t have run off.” Benny shook his head firmly.

“No- _we’re_ sorry for making you feel like we didn’t care about you. We’re here for you, man, no matter what. That’s not gonna change.” There was a murmur of agreement from the others, and Sonny’s smile became a little more sure.

“I know. I… I’m gonna turn in. Pretty tired.” He took a few steps back towards his room, and Benny reached out and squeezed his arm.

“Alright, kid. See you tomorrow- and if you need to talk, you know we’re here.”

“Goodnight, Sonny- try and get a good night’s rest, ok?”

“Sweet dreams, chico!”

“Sonny?” Sonny turned. Usnavi was in the centre of the room, holding out a shaking hand. When the kid spoke, his tone was guarded.

“Yeah, cuz?”

“I…” He shook his head, and let his hand drop to his side. He took a breath.

“I’m sorry.”

A few seconds passed. Sonny stared at his cousin with a strained expression, as if a fierce battle was raging behind his eyes- and then he softened.

“S’ok.” he muttered. “I forgive you.”

He retreated into his room without another word, and closed the door behind him.

Gradually, the girls and Benny took their leave- promising to stop by as soon as possible the next morning, offering more condolences, telling Usnavi to make sure Sonny came and talked to someone and didn’t bottle up- and Vanessa watched all their retreating footsteps from the door. She had pulled on her coat, and had been about to leave, when she remembered something she’d meant to ask Usnavi earlier.

“Usnavi?” He looked up from where he was sitting on the couch.

“Hmm?”

“You said… was Pete with him? Last night?” Usnavi looked back down at his knees.

“Yeah.” he murmured. “He was at the store when I got in this morning. Patching Sonny up- it- it was just them last night. _Christ,_ Van, he- They could have _died._ Why was he there, and not me?” Vanessa didn’t have an answer to that- but Usnavi continued anyway. “He really… He really gave me a piece of his mind- he was furious about me leaving Sonny- and I don’t know…” He trailed off, and shook his head. “Maybe I’ve been underestimating him. He really seemed to care about the kid. About Sonny, I mean”

_Yeah. Yeah, he really did._

“I guess that’s why Sonny went to him today.” Vanessa said quietly. “I mean, Pete was there for him before, so…”

The unspoken _‘and you weren’t’_ hung between them. She took her leave without another word.

Passing the graffiti on the corner of the street, she tried to shake off the confusion, and the curiosity- _so what if Sonny found comfort in Pete?_ \- and of course Pete would be worried about the boy- he knew him well enough and he had been in real danger- but… What she’d seen today had looked like more than that.

The thoughts lingered at the back of her mind as she made her own way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Nina is next.


	3. Nina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i honestly cant remember tbh, quite a lot happens this is a long one (ill edit this in the morning)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this took so long, I just love Sonny and Nina's friendship and I wanted to do it justice
> 
> hope you enjoy!

**Nina**

 

It was just past sunrise when Nina woke up to a sharp rapping on her door. At first, she thought she might have imagined it, but it sounded again, more insistently, and she managed to pull herself upright and stumble groggily through the hall, rubbing her eyes with a yawn. When she pulled the door open, Sonny de la Vega was standing on the sidewalk. He looked distinctly anxious, twisting the hem of his shirt in his fists, his shoulders tense, brows knitted together.

“Sonny? What is it?” Sonny usually slept late when he could- he’d only be out and about this early if it was something really important. He looked up at her, expression strained.

"C- Can I come in?" Nina opened the door wider, frowning.

"Of course, honey, what's wrong?" He didn't answer as he ducked into the house, awkwardly shuffling through to the living room and sitting down on the sofa after a nod from her- anxious and stiff, his whole body taught. "Sonny, what is it?" she asked again. As she sat down next to him, putting a warm hand on his shoulder, he bit his lip and muttered "It's about Usnavi."

_Oh._

She had been expecting this- well, perhaps not this exactly, but something like it- with Sonny's cousin, his only family, leaving for DR in a matter of days, she'd been surprised, in fact, that it had taken so long to get to him. Abuela's death, she had supposed, had cast it into ample shadow- but now, here he was, looking drained,  _exhausted,_  with his eyes deep and hollow and she couldn't think  _what_  she was supposed to do but here he was, needing her help, and she did the only thing that came to mind and held him tight and whispered "Oh, cariño- "

"He's not going."

The words were flat. It took a second for them to reach her brain.

"He's not going." Sonny repeated, and this time there was a crack in his voice and she pulled back to see tears gathering in his eyes, spilling over his cheeks. "Nina, he's staying." he whispered.

Starting to cry in earnest now, the boy slumped over onto her shoulder- Nina barely caught him in time- and sobbed against her shirt as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, managing through her shock to stroke his hair and say  _"Esta bien, esta bien-",_  shuddering helplessly against her with every breath.

_Usnavi was staying?_

Why? He'd had his heart set on going back to his homeland since even before his parents had passed- now, with the tickets in his grasp and Abuela's memory to spur him on, she couldn't think why he'd have passed the opportunity up.

And why was Sonny reacting like this? She'd have thought he'd be overjoyed that his cousin was staying- yet he was crying into her shoulder, gripping her arms if she was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Once the boy had calmed down enough to talk again, she pulled away and looked at him carefully. His expression was oddly hollow- empty, she thought, as if he'd had the colour drained out of him. He went slack against the cushions with his arm over his face and drew a long, shaky breath.

"He's staying." he repeated- numb. Nina couldn't find words. After a few moments, Sonny continued. "He's gonna use the money to fix up the store, and give some to Vanessa to help her move downtown. He's not going." Hesitantly, Nina moved a little closer to him, putting a cautious hand on his arm. She couldn't begin to understand what he was feeling- the kid seemed almost shell-shocked.

"When did you find out?" she asked.

"Just now. H- He sent me an' Pete to tell the whole barrio- I just- I needed to... Pete's passing the message round."

"Graffiti Pete?"

"Why does everyone ask that? What other Petes do we know, Nina?"

"Okay, okay, Pete." Sonny was hunched over now, gripping his arms and looking tense again. Nina bit her lip. "Do... Do you have any idea what changed his mind?" He shrugged one shoulder, still not looking at her.

"I think it was Pete, actually." Nina started, eyes widening.

"Really? What-"

"Well, us, I guess- me and him. We- uh..." He scratched the back of his neck. "I- I commissioned him, actually- got him to paint a mural on the grate. Of... of Abuela. It took him all night- and Navi came to open the store, and we showed him, and he just said  _'There goes my flight.''_  and told us to spread the news." He looked like he didn't quite believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Just like that..." he murmured. He was still for a few moments, swallowing thick in his throat, before shaking himself off and twisting his hands into his own corkscrew-curls (they were growing out fast), looking agitated. "I mean- I wasn't trying to change his mind, I swear." he said, half to himself.  "I just thought it'd be a good way to remember her, see, or- I don't know- it was the only thing I could think to do and I had to do  _something_ and- and- " He broke off with a frustrated grimace and shook his head. His hands were shaking. There were tears brimming in his eyes, but they didn't fall. "I had to do something."

Once again, Nina found that words had escaped her. Sonny- brave, thoughtful, broken Sonny- had had to find a way to honour his Abuela, even if it was a spray-painted mural on a bust-up grate. Of course he had. That was Sonny. That had always been Sonny; he had always had to- to  _do_  something, to make a difference, to make sure he wasn't just a bystander- he'd been defending the store when no one else had thought to do it, and he had sought out Pete while the rest of the barrio mourned, immobile- he had to make a difference. This time, he really, really had.

"It was still his choice, chico." she managed, eventually. Sonny looked up at her, eyes red. She swallowed hard and fought to continue, but he was speaking first.

"But Nina, if I hadn't- then he would've- and I don't want- "

"Sonny, listen. You're not... you're not keeping him here against his will, or... or anything you might be thinking." When his expression remained anguished, she squeezed his hand and leaned closer to look him dead on. "I  _promise_ , cariño. You're not dragging him down."

He spent the rest of the night at Nina's place- and she eventually managed to persuade him to sleep, despite his protests that he'd pulled all-nighters and been fine  _before-_  and got several calls from various neighbours looking to confirm that- yes-  _Usnavi really was staying_.

It wasn't until later that morning- when she had left Sonny snoring on her couch and headed down to the bodega, and found the man slumped on the front step, dazed and exhausted, and heard the words from his own mouth- that she really believed it herself.

Usnavi was staying.

A few days later, and the bodega was back in business- or, as much as it could be. Usnavi and Sonny took equal shifts at the counter while the other, along with much of the rest of the barrio, tried to patch the little shop back into shape. It was hardly a one-man job, and the money only took them so far- so almost everyone they knew lent a hand at some point. Benny did most of the heavy lifting, while Vanessa re-organised the set-up of the entire store, and Carla- surprisingly good with numbers- worked through the costs of everything, handing Usnavi a neatly printed list at the end of the first week detailing the pros and cons in terms of almost every finance option they had. She put little cat stickers on it.

When Sonny wasn't behind the counter, he was helping Benny in the store rooms or drawing spreadsheets up with Dani- he kept himself constantly busy, hardly a moment to spare for thought. At almost every opportunity, Usnavi would try to strike up a conversation with him- light and friendly and altogether far too normal for the circumstances. Sonny would brush him off more often than not, and come up with a new excuse or a job he was supposed to be doing, and dully avoid his eyes.

Nina had to give him at least a little credit- Usnaviwas trying. He was doing his best to be as normal as he could around everyone- as if everything was fine- but it just wasn’t _._ That was the crux of the matter, when you got down to it. It wasn’t fine. They couldn’t go back to living as they had done- they couldn’t just go back to  _‘normal’-_ not when Vanessa’s apartment was a maze of moving boxes, not when Sonny was odd and distant and hurt- and not when Abuela was gone.

Since his breakdown immediately after her death, Usnavi was almost unnervingly normal- he went about his business as usual, opening up the wreck of the bodega each morning and selling what he could- it was troubling, to say the least. And things between him and Sonny were still… tense _._  The boy was talking to him again, doing more than his fair share of the work and taking shifts without complaint, but it was all wrong _._  He didn’t laugh and joke around with Usnavi any more- any interactions she witnessed seemed far more boss/employee than the close cousins they all knew. It worried her more than she liked to let on- and knew the others in the barrio felt much the same. 

At the same time, Usnavi wasn’t letting Sonny out on his own _at all_. Round-the-clock supervision from anyone and everyone, the kid had at least two sets of eyes on him at any given time- and she had almost wanted to scream when Usnavi told them all that's what he thought was necessary. 

He was guilty, she knew, horribly guilty about what had happened, and felt like he needed to protect his little cousin, but he had gone about it just about the worst way possible. Rather than the comfort he seemed to expect it to give him, Sonny felt patronised and constricted, felt as if Usnavi was punishing him for staying out by himself in the blackout. And he felt guilty, too. He felt like he'd failed them.

All this Nina managed to figure out simply from watching the two De le Vegas- boys she'd grown up with and knew like the back of her hand, but it seemed like there was a gulf between them now- and the worst part was that Usnavi just didn't seem to want to acknowledge it. While Sonny shrugged him off, locked himself in his room, spent hours re-organising the bodega's store-cupboards (he wrenched his back moving the boxes) Usnavi was as friendly as ever- admonishing him jokingly, laughing, making conversation as if nothing was wrong- and when his attempts to get the boy back to normal failed, he simply continued the same approach with more enthusiasm. It was almost painful to watch.

He wasn't leaving. That was how Usnavi saw it- he was staying here and that was that. But for Sonny, from the brief snatches and sobs and mutterings she'd been able to glimpse from him- for  _Sonny,_ what mattered was that he had been  _going_  to. He had been going to leave him. And if it wasn't for Abuela's death, he definitely would have done. And sure, perhaps he had been leaving him with $32k, but what was a sixteen-year-old going to do with that?

 _Where exactly had he thought Sonny was going to go?_  she found herself wondering. Perhaps her and her parents would have taken him in, or Daniela- she'd always had a soft spot for the kid- either that or he'd have ended up on the streets. Sonny knew that. And still, he felt horribly like he had forced Usnavi to stay.

While he was still distant with his cousin, Sonny was nearly his old self around most of the others- Nina in particular- something that made his attitude to Usnavi even worse by comparison. With Benny, Dani, Carla, or herself, he would laugh and joke around, all of them trying to treat his constant supervision as 'hanging out with friends' rather than what it really was, but he just... _closed off_  around his cousin. They needed to talk it out, that was clear, but neither seemed likely to initiate. If this went on much longer, she was going to take matters into her own hands. They were part of the barrio- the only part left, it seemed like- and having them stiff and uncomfortable around each other was just wrong. They needed the De la Vegas back- both of them.

She was on Sonny-duty tonight- not exactly a chore, since all it meant was sitting behind the counter with him and getting a lot of free slushies when they couldn't think of anything to do. He was experimenting with new flavour combinations- and miscellaneous ingredients from the bodega's shelves- most of which were nothing short of disgusting, but hey, it passed the time. 

Business was slow and the nights were hot, and they were leaning on the counter with the latest concoctions in their hands and all the doors and windows thrown wide, though it did little to combat the closeness of the air. 

Sonny had managed to pull his lengthening curls into a sort of topknot on top of his head- he looked like a strawberry, and she'd told him so, to his deep mock-offence. He hadn't taken it out, though, and she had to suppress a giggle every time she looked over at him.

"A'ight." he was saying, now. "On three, ok?" She nodded, readying herself for whatever assault her taste-buds were about to receive. "One-" Sonny muttered. "Two.. Three!" Together, they took a large gulp each from the paper cups in their hands, and Nina's face screwed up reflexively as the flavours burst in her mouth. It wasn't necessarily  _bad_ , there was just an awful lot going on, and she felt her forehead start to burn a second later- a brain-freeze, which, from Sonny's flapping hands and grimace, he was suffering from as well.

Once they'd managed to swallow their mouthfuls, both giggling a little and grimacing from the aftertaste, she shoved the cup as far away from herself as she could.

"Do me a favour and  _never_ make that again." Sonny continued to laugh, nodding, starting to cough halfway through.

"Y- Yeah, that was- that was fucking gross."

"Language!" she chided him, but she was still laughing herself.

" _Fucking. Gross_." Sonny repeated, annunciating each syllable clearly- half a smirk present on his face. Nina laughed and put her hands over her ears, at which Sonny raised an eyebrow, bemused.

"What're you doing that for?"

"One of us has got to be the pure one around here- if it's not you, I'm taking your place." 

"Oh yeah, 'cause I'm sure everything you do with Benny is completely pure..." Sonny drawled the words and batted his eyelashes, and Nina let out a snort, shoving at him lightly.

"What's  _with_  you today?" she chuckled. "What happened to my little Son-shine?"

"All his friends got in relationships and abandoned him." Sonny muttered. He grabbed their two cups from the counter and went to get rid of the contents, and Nina watched after him with a fond smile- it was nice: the easy back-and-forth between them- it was familiar.

When he got back and hoisted himself up onto the counter, she followed suit, knocking their shoulders together lightly.

"Cheer up, chico." she said. "Dani and Carla are both single." Sonny stared glumly at his feet, tapping his heels against the counter.

"Oh, whoopee." he muttered.

"Hey..." Frowning, Nina laid a hand on his shoulder. "Does that really bother you? I mean- I know I've been spending more time with Benny, and now that Navi and Vanessa are-" Sonny cut her off, waving a hand.

"Nah, it's cool- I'm fine." he said- and he sounded like he meant it, too. He shrugged- "I'm alright, don't stress. It's... different, now- what with Navi and Van, and you and Benny too- but it's not a bad different. You two were on a date today, right?" 

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at that. She and Benny had spent the later part of the day at his apartment, cooked dinner together, and curled on the couch to watch one of the old black-and-white movies he loved- not a particularly fancy evening, by most people's standards, but it was more than enough for them. She nodded.

"Yeah, just a quiet one. Big fancy restaurants aren't really our style." It was wonderful, really, that she didn't need anything like that to feel special with Benny. Just being with him was enough- even if it was eating his not-too-delicious cooking and trying not to laugh at the poor quality of the acting in a film that had him close to tears- just being with him made her feel safe, and valued. Sonny raised an eyebrow at the undoubtedly love-struck expression on her face, and she stuck her tongue out, turning away from him to hide her blush. With a laugh of his own, the boy slid off the counter so he was leaning against it, and sighed as he fiddled with the few curls that were escaping from his stupid top-knot.

“Y'know, it's funny," he managed eventually. "A year ago, I probably would’ve hated him. Still thought I was in love with you.” Grinning, Nina mock-gasped.

“ _Thought'?_ You mean your feelings for me were a lie? You ass- you were leading me on, all those years?” Sonny chuckled and rolled his eyes at her.

“S’not a lie if I thought I was telling the truth.” he pointed out. Then he frowned, biting his lip, as if trying to find words for something. “I just… I mean, I thought- you’re so smart, and beautiful, and funny- so, like, why  _wouldn’t_ I be in love with you- you know?” He faltered, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess I thought I was supposed to be, or… sorry- this isn’t making sense.”

“No, no, I get it.” Nina assured him. “I understand.” Sonny looked over at her and smiled gratefully, letting his hand drop to his side, and Nina was struck quite suddenly by how much older he looked. 

She had noticed when she first got back, of course, that he’d grown much  _taller_  during her time away, that his jaw was sharpening and his puppy-fat receding, but it wasn’t until now that it had really hit her- how much Sonny was growing _up._  Becoming surer of his feelings was one thing- there was such a stark difference between the little boy who’d brought her flowers with a blushing, gap-toothed grin and the young man standing beside her with fondness in his eyes- there was love there, definitely, but it was a simpler kind. It made his eyes warm. 

He carried himself differently, too- he was more confident, more mature- and he was doing everything he could to help patch up the bodega. She didn’t want to think about how that might partly be out of guilt- that he felt bad for not being able to save the shop during the riots. He’d looked so  _old_ after that, too. It had only flitted through her mind at the time- she’d been far more preoccupied with his injuries- but she did remember thinking that, bruised and angry, glaring sourly at Usnavi-  _Usnavi,_ asking for his forgiveness- Sonny just hadn’t looked like a kid any more. And he didn’t look like one now.

Blinking back tears that suddenly threatened to build in her eyes, she smiled brightly at him and squeezed his shoulder. Sonny frowned, looking at her with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are you alright?” Nina sniffed and nodded.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. It’s just…” She melted under his worried gaze. “It’s just- you went and grew up while I was away, and I missed it.” The words sounded clichéd as she spoke them, but Sonny’s eyes widened at her tears and he pulled her quickly into a tight hug. He was as tall as her, now- tall enough to comfortably rest his chin on her shoulder as she laughed wetly into his.

“C’mon.” he muttered. “I ain’t as big as all that.” Nina sighed and held him tighter.

“Youare _,_  though. Don’t need a babysitter any more, do you?”

“Sure I do. Navi's got eyes on me 24/7.” She caught the bitterness behind his words, and pulled back to look him in the eye.

“He’s just worried about you.” she told him, casting him a scolding look when he rolled his eyes. “You know how bad he feels for leaving you by yourself during the blackout, and… about everything after. This is his way of trying to make up for it.” Sonny continued to frown, not saying a word. Sighing, Nina cuffed his chin lightly with her knuckles and felt her heart lift as the old gesture brought a smile to his face. “I know you don’t need it.” she told him. “He’s just a great big mama bear when it comes to you, and he knows he can’t make up for what he did. I know that too. But that doesn’t mean you can’t forgive him.” At that, Sonny’s frown returned in full force- it was clear that he didn’t want to talk about this. He broke away from her and slumped into his chair, rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t  _want_ to forgive him.” he muttered. “I just… It was a wake-up call, you know? That you can’t just assume people will be around when you need them- even people you’d have expected to be there for anything. And then he was leaving _?_  Man, that really hit home. Took him down a few pegs. It’s just… I’m so mad _-_ with  _him,_ for not being there, but with  _me,_ too, ‘cause I assumed he would be. Thought my big cuz’d show up and make everything alright- I should’ve just got out of there- what was I thinking _?_ ” The last few words were to himself, half-whispered, and he shook his head in disbelief. “God, I don't know why I did it. And I caused you all so much trouble, and I-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry, Sonny." Nina cut him off sharply. Then, her expression softened. "Chico, you did what you knew was right. You were braver than any of us." He didn't answer- merely bit his lip and continued to frown at his own scuffed knees. After a few seconds, Nina spoke again.

"You do need to talk to him. You know that, right?"

He didn't answer.

When she walked into the bodega a few days later and found the two cousins tangled together on the tiled floor, tear stained and drained-looking, what she felt more than anything was pride. Usnavi was holding Sonny close to him, the boy's head heavy against his sternum as he traced even circles into his back, and he looked shaken, exhausted, but somehow... relieved. When he spotted her, he looked up and smiled weakly, mouthing, "We're ok" when she gave him a questioning look. Sonny seemed to sense the movement, because he pulled away gently and turned to look behind him, and gave her a shaky thumbs-up once he recognised who it was. Nina approached them and knelt down, adding her own hand to Sonny's shoulder.

"You two talked?" They both nodded. Usnavi grunted and stretched.

"Yeah, since three this morning. This puffball came and woke me up." He rumpled Sonny's hair, and the kid groaned and rolled his eyes at him.

"Navi, you were sleeping at the counter, you were gonna hurt your back."

"Oh yeah, and you'd know all about that, mister ' _I'm sure I can lift three boxes of tinned fruit at once without-_ "

"Oh, shut up, I hardly even-"

"Son, you couldn't lift yourarms for a-"

"Could too!" Sonny shoved lightly at Usnavi's chest, grunting in protest when his cousin trapped him in a hug again.

"Yes, we talked." Usnavi said after a few seconds, speaking over his shoulder. "We worked stuff out. We're... we're alright. Right, niño?" He pulled back to look Sonny in the eye as he said it- apparently seeking confirmation. He gave it, nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're cool."

Nina felt a broad grin spread across her face as she looked at them- two weary, beaming faces, truly happy for what felt like the first time in an age. They were going to be alright.

Pulling Sonny up with him, Usnavi climbed to his feet and tweaked the kid's hat lightly, laughing when he frowned and swatted his hand away.

"Now, I- " he said, moving towards the door- presumably to change the sign, "- need to open up shop, and  _you_  kiddo, need to go to bed." 

"Navi, I'm fine, I'm not- I can- " Sonny protested weakly, but his words were cut off in a yawn. Before Usnavi could comment, however, Nina was holding up a hand and speaking herself.

"You  _both_ need to go to bed." she corrected him. "No buts, Navi- you look like death and, contrary to popular belief, it is not actually possible for to survive solely on coffee. I'll take care of the shop while you two get some rest, alright?" Usnavi, who had opened his mouth to argue, closed it again under her knowing stare- no one could hide anything from Nina.

"Thanks, Nina." he said, sounding resigned.

"It's no problem- I'm just glad you two worked things out. Head home, get some rest, alright? I'll tell people you're busy for the morning."

Usnavi smiled gratefully as he towed a still-protesting Sonny from the shop, promising to repay her when she got the chance, and she watched with a bright smile as the pair passed out of sight. For the first time, the bodega felt close to normal again.

It only grew more so as the days passed. Now that more than half of the repairs were done, and Sonny and Usnavi were talking again, the little shop was beginning to feel more and more like home. While she was no longer required to watch Sonny while he took his shifts, Nina often went down anyway to talk and hang out with him (though she left quickly if he suggested more slushie experiments- her taste buds still hadn't quite recovered). This was the case one dull Saturday afternoon, and she got an intriguing surprise upon entering.

Sonny was sitting behid the counter and staring dreamily out of the window, making circles with his fingers on the counter-top with a small, fond smile on his face- she might have even said he looked  _lovestruck._  Smiling to herself, she made her way over and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Thinking about someone?" She smirked, and the boy started and looked around at her, wide eyed, blushing furiously.

"No!" he said- squeaked, almost. "No one, why'd you think that?" His burning cheeks made the smirk on her face broaden- that wasn't at  _all_  the response she'd been expecting.

"Sonny De la Vega, you have a crush _!_ " she exclaimed, beaming, and the boy's flush deepened considerably.

"N- No!" he stuttered. "I don't!"

"You do _,_  don't even try to deny it, I know you too well- c'mon, you had a crush on me for the first 14 years of your life, I know the signs. Spill." Sonny glared at her for a few more seconds, face still bright red, before slumping down with his head in his arms.

"Okay. Sure, I have a crush." he conceded. Then he turned to frown at her again. "But that's all you're getting out of me."

"Not true, kiddo. You must know by now that you can keep nothing from me." She bent over to be level with him, giving him an exaggerated evil glare that made him snort. It was true, though, no-one could ever keep a secret from Nina- especially not Sonny.

"How long?" she asked. Sonny frowned, clamping his mouth shut, but rolled his eyes and mumbled. "Eighteen months?" after she pouted at him. Nina was surprised- that was a while longer than she'd expected.

"Wow, so this is like a long-term thing, huh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not just a little 'think they're cute' kind of deal?"

Sonny picked at his fingernails, not looking at her.

“I mean- yeah _…_ " he muttered. "It was probably what helped me realize I didn’t like you like that. Y’know- ‘okay so this is definitely... you know, romantic- and what I have with Nina is totally different’. They’re just…” He groaned, putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to  _do._ How’d you get Benny to fall in love with you?” Nina laughed at that.

“I didn’t 'do' anything- or, I wasn’t trying to, at least. It just sort of… happened.”

“Lucky.” Sonny muttered.

"Yeah, we were, I guess. But you're changing the subject, niño." 

"And you're changing it back." he countered. "You're not getting this out of me, Nina, not this time." He shot her a look of finality, pushing himself off his chair and marching off to the store cupboard to pretend to stack something. When he came back in a few minutes later, she'd positioned herself in front of the counter and folded her arms, putting on her sternest expression- a pretty good impersonation of Camilla Rosario herself, whose looks were infamous throughout the barrio. As soon as he caught sight of her, Sonny stopped dead and put his hands firmly over his eyes.

"Nu-uh. You're doin' the face, Nina, that ain't fair."

"All's fair in love and war, chico."

"This is  _definitely_  war- hey!" Sonny yelped as she leaned forward, pinching his sides (he was adorably ticklish) and rushed around her, swatting at her hands, to throw himself back down into his chair. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he hid his face and put his arms over his head, yelling  _"This is assault!_ " while she tickled his neck and arms, fighting back laughter.

"Nina- I-  _no, I- Nina- stop- I'll- "_  He kicked out at her, shoving with his feet and spluttering, until she broke away with her arms up.

"Okay, okay, I'm stopping." Sonny pouted at her.

"I hate you."

"No you don't." Nina said idly, leaning on the counter and popping a skittle from the pile he'd been eating from into her mouth. He scowled.

"Do too." There were a few seconds of silence. Then-

"So?"

"So what?"

“ _So_ , who is it?" Sonny glared at her, exasperated.

“I told you- I'm not telling _._ ”

“Oh, come  _on."_  Nina groaned, looking imploringly at him. "I won’t tell, I promise!” It was true- she wouldn't have blurted the information to anyone- but Sonny didn’t seem to trust her.

“You expect me to believe you’ll keep this from Dani? C’mon, Nina- she knows, and the barrio knows- I don’t wanna be the talk on the street for this.” Nina was about to roll her eyes and point out that whoever was the subject of the younger De la Vega’s affections, while definitely interesting _,_ wasn’t about to become the hottest news in the neighbourhood- but then she registered the anxious, almost frightenedlook on Sonny’s face. No- not ''almost'' _-_ he was terrified _._

_Why?_

“Alright, alright, you don’t have to tell me who it is,” she said quickly, watching the panic leave his eyes after she’d got the words out, “- but you  _do_ have to tell me  _all_ about them. Is it someone from school? Just a neighbour? Have you actually spoken _,_ or are you just, you know, dying from afar?”

“Nina- ”

“Nope, as your ex-babysitter  _and_ ex-crush, you are obligated to tell me everything _._ ” She hoisted herself up onto the counter so that she was facing him, their heights almost equal. Sonny groaned, cheeks darkening further still.

“Only you would use the word 'obligated' _._ ” he muttered. Nina stuck her tongue out at him, and he scowled harder. Under her pleading gaze, however, he cracked. “Oh,  _fine._  We… we’re good friends.” he began. “I’ve known them for a while, and we’ve always been pretty close, but recently stuff’s just… different _._ I get so nervous when I’m around them, ‘cause I’m worried I’ll slip up and accidentally confess, or something, and it’s really hard ‘cause they come in here all the time- was it like that with you and Benny?” Nina shook her head.

“Not really. Well, sort of- but it was him that was nervous all the time.” She smiled at the memories- Benny, rambling nervously when he talked to her, going far too far with his compliments and blushing hard as he hurried to correct himself, painfully obvious about his feelings. “He was always stumbling over his words when he talked to me.” she said. “It was really cute.”

“Only ‘cause you liked him back.” Sonny mumbled gloomily. “You two are so lucky _._ ”

“Well, yeah… but that doesn’t mean you can’t get lucky too. Why don’t you just tell her?” Sonny’s eyes widened at that and he shook his head vigorously.

“Hooooo boy, no wayin  _hell_  is that gonna happen.” He looked positively mortified at the idea.

“Well, why not _?_ ”

“S’too risky _._ ” he muttered, dropping his gaze. Nina sighed. Teenagers always made such a big deal of these sorts of things.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” she protested. “She likes you or she doesn’t, and you’re both honest with each other about it- and you said you were friends, right?” He nodded. “So, if she’s a good friend, she won’t hold it against you, and you can keep being friends, even if she’s not interested romantically.” Sonny just groaned and pulled his knees up to his chest.

“S’not likethat. They’d think… I've just got no way of knowing if they’d be cool with it, and I don’t wanna risk it- they're, like, the closest friend I’ve got-besides you, obviously." he amended at her offended look. He sighed. "S’better just to carry on how I am.”

Something was tugging at the back of Nina’s mind- why on earth would he be so nervous about this? He’d always flirted pretty shamelessly with the girls that came into the bodega- and not too badly either, if she was honest- but he seemed oddly uneasy about this particular interest. She supposed it was different- an emotional connection with a friend rather than simple physical attraction, but- the horror in his face at the idea of anyone finding out- and his deliberate use of neutral pronouns-  _oh._

Something clicked into place.

She couldn’t be sure- and she couldn’t exactly just ask _-_ the kid was embarrassed enough already- but, well, what else could it be? How could she bring it up subtly- make it clear that she wouldn’t have a problem?

“You know…” she started, cautiously, “Yesenia's being almost as hopeless as you this week.” Sonny raised an eyebrow, curious.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Her ex-girlfriend’s back in town, and I’m sure she’s still in love with her. It’s hopeless, though- she won’t even admit it to herself.” She watched for his reaction carefully. Sonny’s eyes widened, surprised, and then he swallowed, blinking, as if trying to process the new information.

“What?” she asked.

“I- ” he shuffled on the spot. “I didn’t know she was…” Trailing off, he jerked his head sideways, apparently unsure how to put it.

“Into girls? Yeah, she’s bisexual. I’m surprised you didn’t know- she’s pretty open about it.” Sonny frowned and fiddled his fingers anxiously, chewing on his bottom lip. 

"And you're... you're cool? You know- with... that." He was staring at his feet, his voice terribly high and small, and Nina wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around and tell him it was alright, what he was feeling was natural and normal and wipe that terrified look from his features, but she held herself in check. He hadn't told her anything yet- she could be misreading the whole situation and blowing it out of proportion- she shouldn't make assumptions. All she could do was let him know he was in a safe space. So-

"Of course." she told him. "Completely. I say love is a beautiful thing, and should always be celebrated, no matter what form it comes in. Gender doesn't have a thing to do with it." 

Sonny stared at her, wide-eyed, for a few moments before dropping his gaze.

"I- I think so too. People should be able to be with who they wanna be with, no judgement, right?"

"Absolutely."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for almost five minutes, before Usnavi walked in and stopped short at their expressions.

"Jeez, who died?" He looked a little horrified as the words left his mouth and he processed them fully- evidently worried they'd been talking about Abuela- and Nina took pity on him.

"No one. His slushies are getting worse, that's all." Sonny started out of his daze at that and elbowed her indignantly, half-laughing.

"Hey! They ain't  _that_ bad."

"Speak for yourself."

"I think I'm going to have to agree with Nina on that one, kiddo. Those things are nasty."

"See, this is why I don't like you guys." Sonny said, scowling. "Always ganging up on me."

The conversation relaxed back into playful teasing, the tension dissipating, but she caught Sonny shoot a desperately grateful smile at her when Usnavi turned his back- evidently for not bringing up what they'd been discussing. That in itself could have a number of implications, but she didn't press the subject, even when Usnavi left. Sonny would talk about it in his own time, if he was comfortable discussing it at all. It wasn't her place to push him.

In fact, the topic wasn't brought up again until three days later. Nina was down at the salon, reading a magazine and half-listening to Daniela's recount of whatever she viewed to be the latest scandal, when the bell that rang out at the front of the shop made them and Carla look up sharply to see Sonny pushing through the door. He looked anxious, almost as tense as he's been when he'd come to tell her about Usnavi's decision to stay in the barrio, and his gaze when it fixed on her was nothing short of pleading.

"Hey- uh- Nina, can I talk to you?" he asked, his voice an octave higher than usual. She set down her magazine at once and got to her feet, nodding.

"Yeah, of course. Do you want...?" She trailed off, inclining her head to ask whether it was something he wanted private. Glancing quickly at Dani and Carla, he nodded and grimaced, shifting from foot to foot as if whatever it was he had to say was physically fighting to burst out of him. Without a second thought, Nina ushered him out through the little back door and into the room that the girls rented out- there was no-one staying there now, so it remained unlocked. Even though she wasn't looking at them, she could feel two sets of curious eyes on the back of her neck as they walked. She shut the door firmly, shooting a  _'Don't you dare listen''_  sort of look to Dani, and then lead him through to the small patch of concrete outside (it had once been the corner of a street, but was now walled in on all sides, accessible only through the salon) and it was only after closing  _that_ door, too, that she turned back to Sonny.

"What is it?"

He looked like he might be sick. He was twisting his hands together furiously- something he only did when his anxiety got to him really bad, and refusing to meet her gaze as he struggled for words.

"I- Nina, I have to t- It's just... I'm... I don't know how to-" Nina cut him off gently, taking his shoulders lightly and turning him to face her.

"Sonny, you're alright, you're alright, whatever it is, you can tell me, ok?" He took a slow breath, and swallowed.

"Ok... I-" She watched him struggle for words for a few seconds more, dropping her hands to give him space, and it seemed for a second like he might change his mind and leave her without saying another word. His whole body was taught as a spring.

"Sonny?"

“I’m bisexual.” The confession came in a rush, his voice shaky, his eyes fixed on the ground, but his whole body seemed to relax once he’d said it. His shoulders sagged as he ran a hand through his hair, letting out a slow, shuddering breath, and raising his eyes up to her anxiously- and she melted _._  He looked so small. For all the growing he'd done while she was away, this was still her best friend's little cousin- big-eyed and nervous and waiting for her approval.

“Oh, baby.” Nina held out her arms and he positively fell into them, letting slip a sob as she crushed him tightly to her chest, knuckles going white with her grip. She could feel his heart hammering- a hummingbird against his ribs.

They stood like that for longer than she could have counted, Sonny showing no signs of loosening his hold on her, and Nina having no wish for him to do so. Was she the first person he'd told? It certainly seemed like it, from his fear and hesitance, and the knowledge that he trusted her with this made her heart swell almost painfully- but why her? Sure, they had always been close, but she felt... off, knowing she was the first person he had trusted. It shouldn't have been her, should it? It should have been Usnavi.

When, eventually, he pulled away- not taking his hands from her shoulders, but enough for her to catch his eye- he looked shaken, but there was a dazzling smile building fast behind his eyes. He swallowed and spoke again, quietly.

"S- So... you're cool? I mean- I know you said- but- "

"Sonny." Nina cut him off. "It's more than fine- and I'll fight anyone who says differently for your honour- there is nothing wrong with you, and there never will be. You're still my little Son-shine, right?" She mussed up his hair and he blushed and grumbled, but the grin broke out across his face and it really was like sunlight- bright and blinding and beautiful. He hugged her tightly again with a watery laugh and said  _"Thank you, thank you Nina, te amo, te amo, I love you"_  with such relief in his voice that she wanted to cry.

It took a while for them both to come back to themselves. When their breathing had levelled somewhat, and they were simply standing side by side in the cooling evening, Nina turned to him with a mischievous grin.

"So..." she said. "Does this mean we can talk about cute boys together?" He cracked, doubling over with a snort and giggling, his shoulders shaking and his hand over his mouth.

"Nina Rosario, you - are -  _taken!"_  He jabbed an accusatory finger at her, a goofy grin still plastered over his face. She shrugged.

"Doesn't mean I can't gossip. And I think I know a great place to start..." Raising one eyebrow, she grinned across at him, making her meaning clear. Sonny groaned.

"Nina, no."

"Come on- you've got no reason not to tell me any more..."

"Yeah right- no reason at all. I'd like to live my life without Dani telling the whole of the barrio who I've got a crush on-"

"Hey, I wouldn't tell her! Sonny, you know I wouldn't, not with something like this." She looked at him earnestly, trying to convince him she would be true to her word- now that telling Dani who he liked would mean outing him to her, she wouldn't have considered it for a heartbeat. At least some of her sincerity must have shown through, because Sonny sighed and leaned back against the wall and said "Fine... you can ask questions, but I don't have to answer them, alright?". Nina beamed.

"Ok... Boy or girl?"

"Boy- I thought you'd have figured that out." 

"Hey- just checking. Are you out to him?"

"No. You're the only person I've told, and I... I don't know how I'd bring it up with him." He looked so forlorn- so resigned- that she couldn't not reach out and take his hands, ducking down again so he couldn't avoid her gaze.

"Touchy subject, huh?"

"Yeah. Or- no. I- " He broke off, looking up at her properly with a hopeless expression. "I just... We've never... we've never talked about that kind of thing. Y'know- it's not like he's ever said he's against it- never even outright said that he's straight, but... it's just a total blind swing. 50/50 either way, and I don't want to risk it. He's... he means a lot to me, Nina, not just romantically. I can't lose that 'cause of some silly crush."

"Doesn't sound like a silly crush." Sonny didn't seem to have an answer to that. He let go of her hands to shove his own deep in his pockets. Nina leaned against the wall alongside him, trying to catch his gaze.

"Sonny, if you're that close, I can't imagine him feeling much different just because of your sexuality. And if heis homophobic, is he really someone you want to stay close with? I mean, if you're never going to be able to be yourself around him, perhaps it's better to rip the band-aid off sooner rather than later. You know what I mean?"

"I... yeah. Maybe- but it's hard, you know? Like- imagine if you were bi, and Vanessa turned out to be homophobic. Would you be able to just... cut her off?" That brought her up short. The kid did have a point- she couldn't imagine life without any of her closest friends, no matter what they thought of her- but she also couldn't imagine any of them being outright disgusted with the idea of a same-sex relationship- people with strong negative views tended to make them pretty obvious. Before she could say so, however, Sonny was continuing.

"And even without that, I don't have a clue about getting his attention- they just don't teach you this kind of stuff. What do guys even like?" Nina heard herself chuckle.

“Just get him flowers or something, chico, it’s not that difficult.”

“Can’t,” Sonny muttered. “He’s allergic to  _everything._ ”

“So get him  _fake_ flowers.” she protested, meeting his incredulous look with an innocent one of her own. “What? It’s the thought that counts, right? And I’m sure he’ll appreciate you remembering he’s allergic.”

"Nina-"

"Nina! Sonny!" It was Carla's voice, coming from inside. Nina rolled her eyes, bringing a grin to Sonny's lips, and turned to pull open the door.

"Yes, Carla? We're out here." Carla's frizzy head popped into view and she grinned in relief as she caught sight of them.

"Oh! Sorry- I was just worried, you'd been gone a while."

"We're just coming back in now, Carla." Sonny told her, smiling, and lead the way towards the door. When Carla had gone on ahead of them, Nina shot Sonny a questioning look. He shrugged and muttered "We  _were_  out there ages, and I promised Navi I'd work a shift this evening too."

"I can come with you, if you'd like." He shook his head.

"I don't want to make them suspicious." At Nina's incredulous gaze, he amended his statement. "Okay- I don't want to make them any  _more_  suspicious. And... I'm not great talking about this just yet, ok? It's still kinda... shaky, for me." Before she could reply, they were back in the salon and Sonny was waving goodbye, ducking out of the door with an easy smile. Nina watched him go, slightly taken aback at the abrupt departure. 

He didn't seem unhappy, though. That was the thought she kept hold of as she deflected Dani's questions and went back to reading her magazine- he'd been positively glowing when she'd told him she accepted and loved him- and it hadn't changed. He hadn't seemed unhappy as he'd left- just a little nervous. And why wouldn't he be? She was the first person he'd come out to, she reminded herself, it wasn't just going to be a walk in the park from then on. She could only do her best to make sure he was alright.

"You know José's going to propose to Julio?" Carla said after a minute, breaking the silence. Dani latched onto the new topic quickly, and Nina felt relief wash over her. While she didn't think Dani really would blab about Sonny's sexuality, if Sonny wasn't comfortable with anyone else knowing, she certainly wasn't going to encourage the woman's interest.

She smiled and turned the page of her magazine, debating whether to let them know about the precise arrangements of the marriage, which was apparently still not cutting Yesenia out of the picture. In the end, she opted to keep her mouth shut. It was their news to tell.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 3am you gusy just t ake it
> 
> UPDATE- i updated this- changed the ending for pacing reasons and cut out the disgusting amount of italics i use, and THE NEXT CHAPTER IS COMING SOON I PROMISE IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU ALL


	4. Vanessa- #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa's on a Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trumpets blaring*
> 
> I'M BACK!!
> 
> im so sorry for being totally useless and I know this is a really short chapter but I wanted to get something up okay I've been going through some shit and i needed to update. there'll probably be a second part to this chapter, therefore, before we get to benny (who was being Difficult and is now in time-out until I can figure out how to write him)
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

Usnavi's apartment was quickly becoming Vanessa's home away from home.

It wasn't like she'd never been round there before, but now, dating Usnavi, she seemed to be there almost more often than not. It was a welcome escape, she supposed, from both the stress of her mom's place and the chatter at the salon- and, of course, she got to spend time with Usnavi. She was getting to know him: really getting to know him, as he got to know her in turn and his nervousness faded- a little, if not entirely. She'd found the star-struck look he so often fixed her with didn't fade with it. With that and the increasing number of her belongings which were finding their way over, spending time there was just feeling more and more natural.

Sonny was probably helping, too. She'd always been friendly with him- it was hard not to be, if you spoke to the kid for all of ten seconds; he could have made friends with an iron bar. She became accustomed quite quickly to being round at the apartment even without Usnavi there, therefore, just sitting on the couch either with the younger boy next to her or with the sound of his shuffling around upstairs.

What also seemed to become frequent was her boyfriend's younger cousin spending more and more time at her place, too. He had helped her with settling in more than almost anyone else, originally to avoid Usnavi: pushing furniture across the floor and unpacking boxes- not that there were many of them. After that, he'd kept coming round, travelling back with her on the A-train some mornings after she'd spent the night in the Heights, since Usnavi would never have let him make the trip alone.

His visits were a welcome, easy distraction; listening to his anecdotes of the comings and goings back in her old home and his complaints about school starting back soon and the heat and his shifts was a taste of home that kept her grounded. It kept her stable in all the change that had been happening- Usnavi was there, but her changing relationship with him was hardly a help, as happy as she was with it, and the easy back-and-forth with the kid felt natural- comforted her.

Daniela and Carla chattered about the Bronx and the new frequent customers- gossiped about names she couldn't put faces to- and it just felt odd. Nina was far closer to normality, but she had thrown herself into studying again and didn't have much free time- at least, not that matched up with Vanessa's. She still saw her as much as she could, though; they had study sessions that ended up as sleepovers with the two girls side-by-side on Vanessa's singe bed with open textbooks and packets of candy, mostly just talking. She missed her more than she realised.

Sonny was a constant- especially after the ordeal with Usnavi had blown over. She'd been prodding Usnavi to make amends for a while but wasn't honestly surprised that it was Sonny who had the guts in the end.

The morning after that, it had felt like both those boys were glowing.

Now, Sonny was back to normal- ranting to her ceiling about the injustice and corruption in the government through a mouthful of popcorn while she shifted through paperwork, giving her plenty to laugh at in his impressions of Usnavi. Sometimes she heard the same story from both of them, and Usnavi would ask her why she was fighting down laughter when he glossed over some of the details that his cousin had had no qualms about keeping in.

This evening, blessedly, she had very little to do, and was slumped on the cousins' couch going punch-for-punch with Sonny on hate-crimes.

"This isn't about burning a cross on someone's lawn, kid-" she pointed out. "People are dying."

"And the murderers will be punished fairly for committing that crime." Sonny shot back. "You want to start punishing them for what's in their heads when they do it, too?" Vanessa leaned forward on her knees, fixed him with a hard look.

"And why not? I'll admit you can't police people's thoughts, it's when they start killing people because of them that you need to take action. Destroy the root of the desire to kill and you destroy the desire, it's simple; it's the most effective way to solve the problem." She folded her arms. Sonny frowned and tapped his knee too rapidly, never breaking eye contact.

"Telling people what they can and can't think is the beginning of the end." he declared. "You're addressing this clinically and it can't be- people have a right to their beliefs: when the government begins to try and get in people's heads there's no going back; it's an invasion of privacy at best-"

"And what is it at worst?"

"Manipulation. Hypocritical, isn't it? You condemn controlling governments but you'd be perfectly alright with it so long as they were enforcing your views- it's arrogant, it's support of dictatorship-"

"Alright, alright, pipe down, mister." Vanessa pushed at his shoulder, grinning, and he sat back with a self-satisfied look. "You're getting too good at this." Sonny grinned and stretched back, screwing his eyes shut."

"Mmm, tiring though." he mumbled. "Gets you an appetite."

"Say no more."

They trooped through to the kitchen and grabbed some cereal from the cupboard- too early yet for a proper meal and Usnavi would be back for that later. Sonny hoisted himself up to sit cross-legged on the kitchen table and started shovelling lucky charms into his mouth. Vanessa straightened his cap as she leaned next to him and he deftly moved it back. She grinned at the gesture.

"You still stressing about it?" she asked after a minute. Sonny half shrugged.

"Debate? Nah, I know I'll kick ass."

"That's the spirit."

"Thanks for helping me practice, though. Usnavi's useless. He just gives up and agrees after five minutes." Vanessa snorted into her bowl.

"Sounds like him. I don't think he'd even start arguing with me."

"True."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, chewing their honestly-more-dinner-than-lunch and knocking their heels on the table legs.

 Vanessa found her mind wandering back to the only recent piece of gossip she'd found interesting- Carla's enormous and hugely obvious crush on one of the new part-time girls at the salon. Obvious, apparently, to everyone except the girl in question, as Carla lamented to her at length: complaining that all her flirting had been dismissed as simple compliments. Daniela had told her flatly that she was wasting her time and that the woman was straight as a pole, which Carla had answered with a pout and a defiant declaration that Dani was just cynical, and had no faith in love. Dani had laughed in a way that made Vanessa think she wasn't telling them something, but she hadn't pushed the subject- except to tell Carla she would wing-woman for all she was worth if it was called for.

She opened her mouth to ask Sonny what he thought about it, before closing it again upon remembering that she wasn't sure Sonny actually knew that Carla was gay. As open as her friend was about her sexuality, outing her without permission still didn't sit right. Instead, therefore, she set down her now-empty bowl and switched the subject to something safer.

"Well, you're definitely going to kick ass." Sonny grinned at her through his last couple of spoonfuls.

"Thanks. It's hard arguing on the other team, though." he said. "You know, trying to beat down my own opinions."

"Maybe, but it'll get you in good practice. If you know the strongest arguments against yourself you'll find it a lot easier to fight them."

"S'pose." Sonny frowned for a second, apparently considering something. "Hey- d'you think- " he began, but he was cut off by his phone sounding loudly from his pocket, and pulled it out to check the message. As soon as he'd read it, a bright grin split across his face and he typed out a response at top speed. Vanessa raised an eyebrow.

"What's got you so happy?" she asked. Sonny didn't look up, his thumbs still tapping almost violently across the screen.

"Pete. He says he can make it down right after my shift tomorrow, we were gonna go down to the park. Haven't been able to hang much this week." Vanessa's eyebrow only rose higher.

"Does Usnavi know about this?" She couldn't believe her boyfriend would be over the moon about his little cousin dashing off the second his shift was over to spend time with a kid they both knew he regarded as little more than a layabout punk. Sonny looked a little sheepish.

"Not yet..." he admitted. He looked up at her anxiously. "You won't tell him?" Vanessa mimed pulling a zip across her mouth and watched the smile slip quickly back onto his face.

"My lips are sealed."

"He's been a lot better about Pete, though." Sonny insisted. "After... after everything. But he still doesn't... like him."

"Wonder why..." Sonny shot her a look.

"Hey! If either of you took the chance to actually get to know him, you'd see he's not just- "

"Alright, hold your horses." Vanessa put her hands up in mock-surrender. "You're not debating about Pete on Wednesday, are you? Come on, you've had a break, you still need to convince me on labour laws." Sonny groaned, but followed her through to the living room to start up on the new subject, and won without much of a fight.

Dinner with Usnavi was nice, and normal, and she headed home with leftovers in her bag- at his insistence. Sonny's last words about Pete resurfaced, however, after the lights of the station had faded from view.

She didn't know Pete. That was starting to bug her more and more. She'd spoken to him, sure, knew who he was- but she didn't really know him, and, after what she'd seen pass between him and Sonny, that didn't sit right with her at all.

Clearly, Pete was important to Sonny. For better or worse, Sonny cared about him. Her own impressions of the guy were less than favourable- he'd shouted and catcalled at her before, though never anything that had bothered her particularly, he was a high-school dropout and he vandalised local properties for fun. She found she was having trouble wrapping her head around the fact that that kid was the same boy she'd seen clutching Sonny De la Vega against his chest and crying after Abuela had died. She didn't know him. And, that night, she decided that that had to change.

If he was such a big part of Sonny's life, it wasn't right that she barely knew a thing about him. And, if he ever laid a finger on that boy, the other part of her brain supplied, she needed to be in a good position to teach him a lesson.

How to go about it, though? Vanessa had never been the best at 'friends' in the first place- her and Nina had just sort of happened; they'd known each other since before they could walk. Daniela had decided that Vanessa was going to be her friend and given her no room to back out, and Carla had come with that package, and Sonny, again, could get a piece of brick to like him. She'd never exactly initiated it before. She found herself over-thinking it and worrying more than she could afford over the following days, and eventually forced the matter from her mind. Hey, she might not even see Pete for weeks- god knows where he went when he wasn't with Sonny- it had been known to happen before. There was no use in stressing herself out over nothing.

The next weekend, however, waiting to leave for a dinner date as soon as Sonny arrived to take over Usnavi's shift, she practically walked into the guy at the back of the bodega. Pete was standing by the rack of soft drinks, flicking a coin from finger to finger with a vacant look on his face, and didn't even look up when she all but mowed him down. He had a pack of tissues under his arm and a jacket slung over his shoulder, and his paint-stains up and down his arms. Should she talk to him? Unsure of how to approach a conversation and trying to buy herself some thinking time, she carried on around him and went to grab what she'd been after from the shelf- but then the sound of his voice from behind her made her look round.

"Red or blue?" he asked. She blinked at him.

"I'm sorry?"

"Gonna get a soda- red or blue?" Pete was still staring intently at the garishly coloured bottles, his eyes scanning the rows. After a second, he looked up and shrugged one shoulder. "They're both gross, so..." Vanessa stood frozen for a second, but then got over her surprise enough to answer him.

"Uh- blue?" Pete grabbed a blue bottle from the shelf and gave her a nod.

"Cheers." He made to walk back up to the counter, but then Vanessa was speaking before she'd really thought about it.

"Why're you getting it if you think it's gross?" she asked.

Something like a grin pulled on the corners of his mouth.

"Sonny's trying new slushie flavours." he said. "Need something to wash it down." Vanessa grimaced involuntarily; she'd made the mistake of trying one of Sonny's... creations once- and only once- before.

"Jeez, you actually drink those things?" This time, the sound that escaped him was almost a laugh.

"Hey, what are friends for?" he shrugged, and smiled. Vanessa felt herself grinning, too.

"Well, I admire your courage." she told him. "Or- your stomach, at least." Another not-quite-laugh.

"Thanks."

A couple of seconds passed, and Pete had opened his mouth to say something else- when the unmistakable sound of Sonny entering the shop, and Usnavi shouting through to Vanessa that they could leave (among admonishments to his cousin about being so late) cut him off.

She smiled at him as they both headed towards the noise, though, and found herself thinking that this friendship was going to go more smoothly than she'd hoped. Pete shot a stiff smile back at her as he moved ahead to bump fists with Sonny and fiddle with his cap.

She noticed that he moved it off-centre, and he didn't move it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooo!!
> 
> as usual i barely proofread this and also i am currently typing one-handed because i sprained my wrist,, so please comment and correct the mistakes that are definitely in there
> 
> idk i might take this down in the morning we'll see lmao
> 
> love you biscuits!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> look theres more look look look

ok so i thought id already done this but Apparently not but- there's a whole new version of this!! with updated better chapters and more story, which i will be finishing very soon i hope!

 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13223646

 

READ IT I LOVE U

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Unnoticed: Stage Version](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9924218) by [pikaace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikaace/pseuds/pikaace)




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